I am missing a lot of things lately. Sunshine being one of them. This winter has been exhausting and draining on my spirit. Sunshine, when we have it, is a welcome blessing.

I am missing the outdoors. I work in a suburban area and it does not lend itself to much green space or scope for the imagination. I am considering  taking my camera with me everyday and sitting in coffee shops and cafes to people watch and listen to conversations. What better way to improve my writing than to listen to the way people talk to each other.

I am missing my picture stories. I wonder if blogging everyday for two months did not burn me out. Writing, at times, has not come as easily to me as it normally does.

I miss my mojo, my desire to create and my desire to write. Making art and writing are things I have always done. Yet, I find myself standing in front of my art supplies completely uninspired. This uncreative space, I no longer want to dwell in it. It sucks. I have been doing a lot of writing, but it has been mental mind-dumping rather than something I care to share.

I keep feeling like I need to be doing something, but this is not the message God is sending me. He keeps telling me to be still. So, I am meditating on this stillness. Nurturing my soul and resting my body. I admit, I am exhausted and this stillness is obviously something I need to embrace right now…not later, right now. It is time I took better care of myself and stillness is one way I can do that. It is how I can return to center and regain my focus. Stillness is a gift I will give to myself.

January is going by so fast for me this year. Some people tell me this is a slow month for them, I can not say that is the case for me at all. After the first of the year, the days almost blur into each other. I am finding it more important than ever to journal on a daily basis so I can recall the fullness of my days. I find I fill my days with less crap and enjoy spending it with my family. I take the time to listen to my children’s conversations and watch them as they do their homework with my husband. How often do we take the time to simply listen to what people are saying? Seriously?

I have been accused of not really listening to what someone is saying to me; interpreting their words to mean something else. In my past, yes, I have been known to do this. Now, this is not the case. I love stories and some of the best stories are those that people tell you about themselves. I do try to listen with a compassionate ear, because I know it is not easy for everyone to express themselves verbally. This is in no way a fault. When you think about a newborn, they can not express love to you verbally from birth, but if you pay attention, you notice the way they curl into your body when they sleep and the soft sigh they let out when they know they are safe. The non-verbal way people express love is just as important as the verbal. The fact that love is being expressed at all says a lot.

I pray I am always open to being able to recognize all forms of expressed love. I also pray that I continue to grow as a good listener and that my listening ear will always be received.