Art Slam

After reading an article a week or so ago about loving your enemies, I rejected it. I just could not see how I was going to be able to pray for and look at someone with love who offended me so badly. I just could not wrap my head around that.

Yet, I now see it is what I must do. I have prayed for my enemies, then they turn around and do something to me again and I wonder to myself, "What the freakin’ hell?! I prayed for you, damn it!" I was not praying for the right reasons. I was praying with the expectation that things would suddenly get better because they would be able to sense my praying for them in love. I know now you can’t pray for someone with the expectation that they will do right by you or appreciate that you did pray for them. You have to do it because it is what is right. It is what God wants us to do.To forgive them and move on.

My heart has been so heavy today. Wondering if all this effort has been a waste of my time. Wondering why I am the one who has to do right. Why are they not charged with doing right? Well, they are charged with it, but as a Christian, I have to do right no matter what. No matter how many times they kick me or try to bring me down, I must be a light. I must shine as bright as I can and realize that love does heal all things. When you approach a situation and a person in love, you will see the rewards of giving. I have to humble myself and simple give more, without expecting anything in return. My reward is knowing and seeing how good I feel because I did it in love.

I get it. I believe I finally get it. Regardless of what happens the rest of the week, I know what I must do. I will pray for my enemies with all of my heart. Starting right now.

I love self-portraits. They offer the perfect opportunity to test out new lighting techniques and experiment. I did not always like doing them, but I found it easier for me to sit still, rather than a giggling little person.

Self-portraits are a great way to let go of some of your personal hang ups. Women tend to be so critical of how they look. What I discovered was that I could look at a portrait and see what everyone else sees. You can decide how you feel and if you are going to walk around looking unhappy or let that happiness shine though. I also discovered features in my own face that I really like. I like my lips. I noticed I have more freckles than I realized. I like the shape of my eyes. I like lots of things. This says a lot about how I have grown into who I am; not focusing on superficial things that have no real purpose in my quality of life.

If you don’t already, shoot a few portraits of yourself. Just for the fun of it. I have yet to have a person tell me they don’t have fun doing it after they try. And, you never know unless you try!

You ever feel like you need to scream your freakin’ head off? Especially when you are trying to be cool, collected and focused?

Had one of those moments early yesterday morning where I thought I was going to come unglued. The devil is at work in an environment I spend a lot of time in and it just about made me crazy yesterday. BUT, the Lord sent me a message thought a lovely woman I befriended last year. He always does that. Sends you people and a message when you need it the most. Immediately, I felt a calm come over me and I told the devil he had no power in my life. None at all.

What has been your message today? Mine is still let go and let God. It works, so no point in fixin’ what ain’t broke! Everything is going to be just fine. Stepping out on faith and trusting is not easy to do, but what would be the point of it if it were easy. There would be no appreciation for our rewards if we did not trust and have faith. That I know for sure.

My third lighting class was all about using your camera flash. Paula showed us simple little things you could do to improve your pictures by using your flash. I enjoyed these classes and meeting new people who also have a love of photography.

I can’t stop testifying! Can the church say "Amen!!"

I woke up this morning tired as ever, but I got up, prayed and started my day on a positive note. God has really been good to me. I stood outside in the freezing and I mean FREEZING cold to watch the moon turn red. I don’t know why, but being able to see that moved me more than I thought I would. I was in the cold praising the Lord for letting me witness this. I thanked him for letting me have the eyes to see it. I have always been fascinated by things like this and was one of those times where I realized just how small I am on this big ass Earth and how small I am compared to all of creation and here I was looking at this event happen. (OK, I know that was a super run on sentence, but I am making a point!)

All of this crap I have been dealing with I am thankful for it. It has strengthened me, showed me that my faith is strong and could stand to be stronger and it has helped me to fully rely on God. Not to try and figure out why this crap is happening, but to back off and just do what He wants me to do. Good God, I feel like dancing!

So, I am off to start my day, have a good day and glorify the Lord with my actions. I can be a light for him. I can and I will be happy. No matter what. I KNOW He has my back. With everything in me, I know that.

OH! I am so done with all this negative bullcrap in my life right now. I am banishing it directly to hell. You don’t often realize how that crap consumes you and wears you out. I have been exhausted for almost a full month. A month.

WTF?!

All that wasted time on bullshit. Not anymore. I can choose how I react to it. I have been repeating my new mantra and I must say, I am beginning to believe it; "Endless good comes to me in endless ways." You can’t just say it. You have to believe it. You have to let go and Let God. I know I have been saying that for a few days now, but it is pulsing through my body like lifeblood. I am anxious with anticipation and I can not help but want to fill my life, my soul and my heart with all the good that is coming my way. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I am so excited by it.

I was visiting Holly McCaig’s blog today and her message came right on time. She posted about her vision board. I was invited to participate with a group on Flickr who has a vision board challenge going on. I did not do it when I first got the invitation, because I had no idea what I wanted to put on it. Now, I know. When I saw Holly’s, it looked exactly like the things I have been wanting to come into my life. I received my WPPI information last week and I wanted to be at that conference so bad. Being surrounded by some of the baddest photographers in the country in one place just blows my mind. Next year, I will be there. Period.

So, this week, I am going to start my vision boards. You can talk about what you want to come into your life, but there is nothing like seeing it and meditating on it and seeing it all come to life.

"When someone at peace and free from hurry enters a room,
that person has a calming effect on everyone present."  -Eknath
Easwaran

Isn’t that profound? I did not realize the effect my mood had on my household until I paid attention to it one day. It is true that our kids feed off of how we feel. We have a responsibility to give them a sense of hope and peace. It is not always easy to do that. You don’t want to shelter your kids from experiences, but you also don’t want them to always see you stressed out and on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

I have been in environments where someone’s bad mood or nervous energy stresses everyone they come into contact with. People tiptoe around them and don’t want anything to do with them because they are so damn negative. You slowly start to feel their negativity affecting you. Almost eating you alive.

I am here to tell you that you have a choice about letting someone else’s negativity affect you. As I have gotten older, I surround myself with positive people. People who have something to say that does not bring me or anyone else down. I surround myself with people who believe things can get better. They give me hope and a sense of peace. A negative person has no power over me or in my life. I know Whose I am. That alone gives me a sense of peace and calm. He makes it possible for me to get through this situation I am going through. He makes it possible for me to believe everything will be alright. Knowing this just fills me up inside with love and hope. It makes me really happy. You can only feel this if you open yourself up to it. You know, let go and Let God. It is as simple as that.

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole
      staircase, just take the first step.– Martin Luther King Jr.

Oh, this is a wonderful quote and quite fitting for me right now.

“It is easy enough to be friendly to one’s friends. But to befriend the
one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true
religion. The other is mere business.” - Gandhi

I really like the blog Zen Habits. Today’s post is about Love Thy Enemy. Very good read.

This will have to be the next Art Slam challenge. I will get that ready and post later today.

I will be so glad when I can speak freely the way I want to about a situation going on in my life. Man, you have no idea. Funny thing is, everytime I come across someone who tries to break me down, it only makes me stronger. I find that people like that don’t have much of an opinion about themselves. As a result, they go around bullying people and bringing them down, just so they can feel big. Well, little big people, I feel sorry for you.

I know who I am. I know Whose I am. I find it hard to respect someone who chooses to disrespect me in front of other people. It has happened for the last time. They forget that I don’t have to take it. I don’t have to internalize it. I am not your stupid, sorry comments and quite frankly, your opinion of me is not accurate, and is none of my business. Even still, I will pray for you. Cause you need it. You need LOTS of prayer.