After reading an article a week or so ago about loving your enemies, I rejected it. I just could not see how I was going to be able to pray for and look at someone with love who offended me so badly. I just could not wrap my head around that.
Yet, I now see it is what I must do. I have prayed for my enemies, then they turn around and do something to me again and I wonder to myself, "What the freakin’ hell?! I prayed for you, damn it!" I was not praying for the right reasons. I was praying with the expectation that things would suddenly get better because they would be able to sense my praying for them in love. I know now you can’t pray for someone with the expectation that they will do right by you or appreciate that you did pray for them. You have to do it because it is what is right. It is what God wants us to do.To forgive them and move on.
My heart has been so heavy today. Wondering if all this effort has been a waste of my time. Wondering why I am the one who has to do right. Why are they not charged with doing right? Well, they are charged with it, but as a Christian, I have to do right no matter what. No matter how many times they kick me or try to bring me down, I must be a light. I must shine as bright as I can and realize that love does heal all things. When you approach a situation and a person in love, you will see the rewards of giving. I have to humble myself and simple give more, without expecting anything in return. My reward is knowing and seeing how good I feel because I did it in love.
I get it. I believe I finally get it. Regardless of what happens the rest of the week, I know what I must do. I will pray for my enemies with all of my heart. Starting right now.
